Lets say a married couple named Peter and Katie are expecting their first baby. They are extremely happy and satisfied with their marriage, and they love each other very much. The baby arrives and everyone is so excited, especially the couple themselves. But after a few weeks they realize that this is a huge change in their lives and they have major adjustments within their marriage to figure out. Katie is always caring for the baby and Peter never really gets a chance to even hold his child unless mom is busy and little Tommy needs a diaper change. Katie and Peter never get to spend quality time together because Katie is worried about leaving Tommy's side. Peter and Katie begin to feel less satisfied with their marriage.When Tommy turns 18 months Katie and Peter announce that they are expecting another baby. This pattern of feeling less satisfied with there marriage continues with every child they bring into the family and doesn't stop until their children start to leave the nest and once that begins Katie and Peter start to enjoy each other again, causing their martial satisfaction to rise back to its old happy place again.
This is the average American marriage couples experience with children. Martial satisfaction lowers with the birth of each child. How come? This happens because the couples doesn't adjust well to the change in their family's dynamics and this causes the couple to grow in opposite directions instead of growing together. In other words the baby becomes a wedge instead of a bonding/growth experience in their marriage.
Their are many ways to avoid this wedge, one of the ways is the wife can involve her husband fully before, during and after the birth of their child. In fact here are five great things the wife can do to engage the husband in this process of bringing about the child.
1. Share what you are feeling. When the wife is pregnant she could share, with her husband, the good emotions she is experiencing while carrying their child. She could also express the physical feelings of carrying their child. Just as Brother William's wife did, when she shared the experience with her husband of their baby girl kicking in the womb.
2. Share responsibilities. Take turns caring and nurturing the baby. This will give the father a sense of purpose in caring for the child, he will feel needed and most importantly will have greater opportunities to bond with their child. And I also think this will help the husband feel and receive a greater understanding that this is his child and he is a father who plays a very important role in the life of his child.
3. Include and involve them in doctor appointments, and other pregnancy appointments/classes. The wife and husband can take a "preparation for labor" class together. This will help them practice for the real event and it will help them bond. Also it will create a partnership effort when it comes to the delivering of their child.
4. During the actual delivery and birth of their child the wive can lean fully on her husband for emotional and physical support. Doing this shows the husband that he is needed by his wife and that he is a critical part of the child-baring process. Also this makes the birth of the child very special to equally the mother and the father. Because you involved the husband every step of the way and treated him as an equal and most needed partner.
5. TRUST him. Before, during and after delivery of the child, the wife can remember to trust in her husband as he learns to grow into his special fatherly role. When the wife shows her trust and confidence in her husband's ability to be a great father he will feel loved and believed in by his wife. Which will help him adapt and grow more easily into the amazing father he was designed to become.
Having a child and caring for a child is a challenging thing for a marriage to experience, but when you take actions that help you and your spouse to grow together instead of apart, children are one of the most satisfying blessings you can experience with your spouse. Its challenging but when you use this opportunity to your advantage, you and your spouse will be closer and happier with each other then you ever have before.
Having a child and caring for a child is a challenging thing for a marriage to experience, but when you take actions that help you and your spouse to grow together instead of apart, children are one of the most satisfying blessings you can experience with your spouse. Its challenging but when you use this opportunity to your advantage, you and your spouse will be closer and happier with each other then you ever have before.
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