Blended Families

This week in class we learned about blended families and how blended families can adjust to the circumstances effectively. We learned how when two families become one they can bring some emotional baggage into the family. And we learned how the family can effectively ease the emotional burdens. Forming two families into one can be stressful and may take a long time and a lot of patience, but it is most definitely not impossibles. It is a beautiful thing when two families join together, through marriage or other various ways, as one learning to love and support each other.My teacher, Professor William, feels very strongly towards blended families because he is apart of one. He has taken on a lot of responsibilities and those things have made his into a great step-father, father and husband. He and his family is an amazing example of how many great and beautiful things can spring from knowing how to grow a blended family. It took time, love, forgiveness and patience to strength and bond his family together, but his and his families efforts have brought forth so astounding blessings.

Parenting

This week in class we learned a lot about effective parenting styles and some non-effective parenting styles. The three different and most common parenting styles we discussed were first authoritarian, second permissive and third active/authoritative.
Authoritarian paring style is very controlling and involves a lot of punishment. This style disregards the child's needs and puts more emphasis on the parent's needs. This style interferes with the natural consequences of the child's decisions.
Permissive parenting style is very inactive, pretty much the opposite of authoritarian.
Active/Authoritative parenting style all about letting the natural consequence of the child's decisions take place. With the exception of the consequences being too dangerous, too far into the future and when it affects others negatively. This parenting style is all about teaching the children response-ability (the ability to respond), respect and courage. This style focuses on meeting the needs of the child, so the child learns how to approach a need correctly and not mistakenly
So good points/tips I learned in class about being a good parent:
1. Be proactive as a parent, seek for opportunities to teach your children through the natural consequences they face.
2. If you need to ground your kid, ground them to you and not there room. Grounding them to you would be having them spend the day with you, helping you accomplish your daily task, etc.
3. Don't make the mistake of withdrawing love from your children, always give love and contact freely.
4. When you are in a predicament with your child, don't respond in the moment, take time to think and discuss an appropriate response with your spouse.
5. Remember that the Lord doesn't punish, he warns of the natural consequence that follow certain choices.
6. Do your best to align your parenting style with God's will and with his gospel.

Fatherhood

In today's world fatherhood is not taken as seriously as it used to be. We has lost sight of the importance of fatherhood and father figures in the lives of children. This may be surprising to some but father's are equal as important as mothers. A child needs both to receives the full benefits that can be offered to them. Fathers can bring so much more to the table then just money, in fact I believe that many fathers don't recognize the potential power and positive influence they have over their children.

They play an essential role in the growth and development of their children's lives. Miracles can sprout and children can thrive from a fathers love, attention and acceptance. A simple hug or game of catch with my father always was very much appreciated by me. When a child knows that their father loves, care and supports them, they can develop and grow into amazing people. The constant involvement of a father in a child's live should not be underestimated. The world is in high demand for good dad's who will be there for their own child, in every way. Being a dad is a special blessing and opportunity. Being a dad is something divine. 

Communication

In class this week we discussed communication within marriage and family. Where there are communication problems there are communication opportunities. We all see and understand things differently which can make communication between two people difficult. But the medium you use to communicate can make things even more difficult. A medium is whatever you are using to communicate your message to a person, for example texting, email, phone calls, verbal(face-to-face), body language etc. are all communication media. Everything we do sends a message, you can never not communicate a message. A study put together three categories of communication, words, tone and non-verbal ques. If you are using all three of these media you are using 100% of your available communicate. Using just words is 14% of communication, just tone is 35%, and just non-verbal ques is 51%. When we use media like texting and emailing, we are only utilizing 14% of our potential communication. This is why the type of media you use to communicate a message can make the message more difficult for the person to understand because you may not be utilizing all your tools available. I suggest if you need to communicate you should try your best to use all of your tools available to help make your message clearer for the one receiving it.

Tragedy or Opportunity?

Every family experiences stressful and difficult times or situations, we call this a family crisis. The word crisis is interesting when written in the Chinese language, because it is two different words put together, danger and opportunity. When a family experiences a crisis they have a choice to either react or act. Crisis' are called dangerous opportunities because depending on how you react/act you can either cease this opportunity to grow closer as a family unit or you can separate and be further spread apart as a family unit.
It is enviable for a family to run into stress and crisis. And you can't always control what happens to your family, nut you can always control how to act when these dangerous opportunities show up. And when you act in a way that is loving, patient, understanding and courageous, you will be acting to bring your family closer, which is a beautiful thing.
Look at stress, trials and hardship as opportunities for growth. I know that when you have the mind-set of hope and courage to cease these challenges you and your family will come to find that they where in fact great blessings.

A Special Gift...

As a growing child, my parents always made a special effort to raise our family in an open environment. When my sibling and I ever had a question, we could always ask our parents, who never responded in a judgmental way, but in a loving way. Because of the loving and safe environment my parents raised my family in, I have been blessed with good knowledge and protected in many ways from worldly lies and myths. Especially when it came to the topic of sex and sexual intimacy. This is a hushed topic in many households and I understand why it would be. It is a very special gift that we have been given by our Father in Heaven himself. It is sacred and special. But the world around us has prevented and corrupted this sacred topic. And when raising children in this world we cannot risk hushing this topic, because sooner or later they will learn about it somewhere, whether it be the truth or false lies. When learning about this topic it is very important to what know source the information is coming from. 

Being raised in the Church of Jesus Christ, as a young woman, I was always told to keep myself pure and clean, to not even think about sex, and to just flat out not even go near the whole idea whether it be mentally, physically or verbally. I knew having sex before marriage was bad, but for the longest time I never knew why. Tell your children the why. Please don't leave them wondering. 

I know that being sexually pure brings some of the most amazing blessings into your life. It has helped me avoid serious heart-ache and devastation. Sexually intimacy is a beautiful gift, when you unwrap it at the right time and under the right circumstances, which is marriage, make sure you unwrap it slowly and in a gentle mentality. Because when you do, you and your spouse will be able to share this special gift that is just between you and them. 

Also remember that sexual purity is not just a one time thing. You can become sexually pure at any time in your life, not matter what has occurred in the past. We are never lost to this beautiful gift and blessings it holds, and we can thank Jesus Christ and His saving atonement for that.

First baby!... Second baby?....Third baby?!.....fourth baby.....ugh...

Okay, so the title is a little weird but let me explain.
Lets say a married couple named Peter and Katie are expecting their first baby. They are extremely happy and satisfied with their marriage, and they love each other very much. The baby arrives and everyone is so excited, especially the couple themselves. But after a few weeks they realize that this is a huge change in their lives and they have major adjustments within their marriage to figure out. Katie is always caring for the baby and Peter never really gets a chance to even hold his child unless mom is busy and little Tommy needs a diaper change. Katie and Peter never get to spend quality time together because Katie is worried about leaving Tommy's side. Peter and Katie begin to feel less satisfied with their marriage.When Tommy turns 18 months Katie and Peter announce that they are expecting another baby. This pattern of feeling less satisfied with there marriage continues with every child they bring into the family and doesn't stop until their children start to leave the nest and once that begins Katie and Peter start to enjoy each other again, causing their martial satisfaction to rise back to its old happy place again.
This is the average American marriage couples experience with children. Martial satisfaction lowers with the birth of each child. How come? This happens because the couples doesn't adjust well to the change in their family's dynamics and this causes the couple to grow in opposite directions instead of growing together. In other words the baby becomes a wedge instead of a bonding/growth experience in their marriage.
Their are many ways to avoid this wedge, one of the ways is the wife can involve her husband fully before, during and after the birth of their child. In fact here are five great things the wife can do to engage the husband in this process of bringing about the child.

    1. Share what you are feeling. When the wife is pregnant she could share, with her husband, the good emotions she is experiencing while carrying their child. She could also express the physical feelings of carrying their child. Just as Brother William's wife did, when she shared the experience with her husband of their baby girl kicking in the womb.

    2. Share responsibilities. Take turns caring and nurturing the baby. This will give the father a sense of purpose in caring for the child, he will feel needed and most importantly will have greater opportunities to bond with their child. And I also think this will help the husband feel and receive a greater understanding that this is his child and he is a father who plays a very important role in the life of his child.

    3. Include and involve them in doctor appointments, and other pregnancy appointments/classes. The wife and husband can take a "preparation for labor" class together. This will help them practice for the real event  and it will help them bond. Also it will create a partnership effort when it comes to the delivering of their child.

    4. During the actual delivery and birth of their child the wive can lean fully on her husband for emotional and physical support. Doing this shows the husband that he is needed by his wife and that he is a critical part of the child-baring process. Also this makes the birth of the child very special to equally the mother and the father. Because you involved the husband every step of the way and treated him as an equal and most needed partner. 

   5. TRUST him. Before, during and after delivery of the child, the wife can remember to trust in her husband as he learns to grow into his special fatherly role. When the wife shows her trust and confidence in her husband's ability to be a great father he will feel loved and believed in by his wife. Which will help him adapt and grow more easily into the amazing father he was designed to become.
      
Having a child and caring for a child is a challenging thing for a marriage to experience, but when you take actions that help you and your spouse to grow together instead of apart, children are one of the most satisfying blessings you can experience with your spouse. Its challenging but when you use this opportunity to your advantage, you and your spouse will be closer and happier with each other then you ever have before. 

Dating

What is dating and how can you effectively date?

Types of Dating and their Differences
People date for different reasons or goals in mind. There are two different types of dating which one usually transitions into the other, casual dating and courtship(exclusive dating). For example when a person casually dates their main focus is meting/getting to know a wide variety people of the opposite sex while doing a wide variety of activities. The second next step of dating, which in correct terms is called courting, is when you are exclusively dating one person. The main idea of exclusive dating is focusing and investing all your interest into a single person, with the intent of a long-term relationship and usually the idea of potential marriage.

Three P's
Whether you are in the casual dating stage or the courtship stage, the idea of a date stays the same. A legitimate date consist of three important actions/parts called the three P's. Planned, paid for and paired off. By the way, when you are in an exclusive relationship remember to keep going a actual dates, it plays a very important part of the growth and happiness of your relationship. Lets dig a little deeper into this concept to understand how to use each of the three P's to create a great date. Which is essential to all types of dating!
Planned 
Plan the whole date beforehand. Make sure when you are planning the date that you ask yourself questions like, "Will this activity help me get to know more about him/her?" "Can we conversant during this activity?" "Is this activity production and/or beneficial for both me and my date?" and "Is this date activity different then past dates we have done or are we planning a repeat date?" Also try to plan something different then the usual date ideas. Remember you want to experience a variety of activities with your date(s).
Paid for
Make sure all the resources that you will need for the date are ready and available. Typically the male pays for the date, but that doesn't mean the female is not allowed to help out. If you are a college student (like me) and have a very limited budget (like me) then make sure to plan a reasonably inexpensive or even a free date. For example, volunteering at a animal shelter, its free and it is a great way to get away from cliche date ideas (movies, bowling, dinner etc.)
Paired off
Make sure when you're on a date, especially group dates, that you are focusing on and paired off with your date. For example, if you planned a game night for your group date you can you play in teams, consisting of you and your date versus another couple, hence the term paired off.

In the End
In the end don't forget your main goals and reasons why you are taking on the journey of dating, whether currently it is a with one person or a variety of people. Do your best, have fun, be you true to who you are and everything will work out!

Divine Differences

Being different and using your differences to serve those around you is beautiful. We all have differences as individual people but the main differences I will be talking about are the ones between men and women.
Gender is a divine blessing and it holds a divine purpose for us all. Instead of viewing our gender differences as a negative thing, we should view them as a positive thing. The differences between being male and female compliment each other and can produce quite remarkable results when they uses their differences to accomplish something. For example when a man and woman raise their family by bringing their unique talents to the table they create an amazing environment of learning for their children.
My mom taught me how to use my emotional sensitivity in a positive way by using it to have compassion towards others, especially when you don't understand their situation. My dad taught me how to accomplish a single goal at a time, like catching a fish, by being very patient and focusing on the task at hand. I would have never learned these life long lessons if my parents didn't appreciate and apply their unique talents to their parenting approach.
In the end males and females have more similarities then differences. We all rely on the necessities of life, support, love and acceptance from others to survive and thrive.
Be the best you that you can be. Use your different strengthens as a male/female to edify and uplift your fellow brothers and sisters around you. When we work together instead of tearing each other's gender's down, we will be able to teach and be taught by each other.

Family Traditions that I Love!

This past summer I went to a family reunion. It was my mothers side of the family, that gathers together about every four years for these reunions. During the three days we are gathered together we play games, eat food, and have a family raffle. I've attended these family reunions since I was a child, its something that is really important and traditional that we do.
On my Dad's side we always gather together on Sundays and holidays to just hangout with the family. When we gather together we just spend quality time with each other at my Grandma's house.
Every Halloween my Dad makes his homemade chili and every thanksgiving my mom makes her homemade cornbread (bread shaped like a big ear of corn). But my favorite food tradition of all is when my parents work together to make dutch oven chicken and pioneer potatoes.
We have this meal for any and every occasion so we end up making it like 500 times a year. But I still love it.

These are traditions that my parents raised my family on. They brought these traditions from there own families and integrated them into their family they created together. I really cherish the memories that come from family gatherings, family food and family quality time. All of this traditions and many more I will most definitely pass on to my future family. I loved seeing how my parents worked together to make this traditions were really special and important to the growth of my family.

Just Noodles and Butter

One day I was making noodles in my apartment kitchen when my roommate walked in and sat down at the table. When the noodles finished cooking, I scooped some into a bowl and placed a slice of butter on them. As I was stirring my noodles and butter I felt eyes watching me. Looking up at my roommate I saw that she was puzzled at my choice of a meal. "What?" I asked as I prodded some noodles with my fork and placed them in my mouth. "Noodles and butter? just butter?..." She asked in a confused manner. "That is so weird." she said looking at me with amusement. This is totally normal for my family, I thought. From then on I started noticing things I did that may be weird to others, and all those thing I could trace back to my family and their habits. Not only did I notice my little corks but all of my roommates and friends little corks.
I love spotting these harmless habits in myself and others because it just shows how we all came from a family that has their own trademarks. Also, knowing this, it helps me to be more understanding and loving towards others. I believe that people are good and we have good intentions and desires in our hearts that others sometimes don't notice. When we see the good in others, in their families, or the places they came from we can also start to love them more like Christ does.

Family Matters

      You are woken up in the early morning by the sound of small voices. Pecking over the blankets you see your precious little children whispering to each other at the end of your bed, wondering if you're awake. They spot your open eyes over the piles of blankets and shout "Hi mom!" in excitement. As they bounce on to your bed, you look over and see their dad already making room for them so they can join you under the warm sheets. As they settle in the provided space, your youngest child occupying a place on your chest says, "I love you mommy."
      My dream as a young girl always was to have a big happy family that me and my spouse created together. And over the years as I have learned how important families are, that dream has become an aspiration and even a necessity.
      Family units are fundamental foundations of society. They are essential to human capital and a successful economy. They play one of the major roles in human health and happiness. In my perspective as Latter-Day Saint, having a firm family is essential to eternal happiness. Being a very family-oriented gospel, we believe "Marriage between a man and a women is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children." (The Family, A Proclamation to the World) In short, we need families!
     The world we live in today is very focused on the "individual" and doesn't see the importance of the family. This influences us to make decisions that are satisfying to the separate person but harmful to the family as a whole. When you make a decision, it doesn't only effect you, but those around you. And when we focus on desires of our own, by default, we neglect to nurture the family, because of lack of unity. The way to unify a family is through sacrifice, charity and serve, but instead we seem to be doing the opposite. Pre-marital sex has increased in the past 20 years along with more people delaying marriage, which has caused more people to either living along or cohabitation. These and many more factors have caused a decline in family. When you have less families forming you have less children being born. Which is why the decline in family has caused fertility rate to decline as well. With less babies being born, we have less people to replace past generations, and if we continue to have less children as the human race... well we end up very low in population and maybe even extinction.
      I know this all sounds so extreme, but small things cause great things to come to pass. And at the rate we are going those extreme can totally become a reality.
      Family matters, and no matter who you are the family effects you and your life. We as a human race need our families, and we should always strive to protect them from harm. We should always remember the significance of the Family.

Hey there!

       Hello blogging world! I have never blogged before and that makes me super excited to learn and become involved in the blogging world. This is a great way for me to express and share my feelings on a lot of topics, especially those concerning the home and family.
      My family is the best part of my life! I love and appreciate them so much. SO MUCH. My little sister, Kylie, is the cherry on top of all the wonderful things my family offers me. Kylie is a very sassy girl. She has all the spice you could ask for in a little sister. And I can always count on her for an honest opinion... that's why I don't go to her when I wonder if my dress makes me look fat. She is the beautiful twist to my life, without her, my life would not be nearly as happy or interesting as it already is.
    Now lets talk about tough love, my brothers! Scot, the oldest out of my three siblings, is the one who taught me how to have fun and not get caught. Except we weren't very good at the latter. He's always treated me more of a friend then an annoying little sister. And I respect him a lot for that. So I always thought Scot and I were the "baddest" around until the real trouble maker showed up, my youngest brother, Kohen. Kohen is a roller coaster! Fast, thrilling and sometimes scary. He always finds a way to get his adrenaline pumping through some crazy dare devil activity. Which I love because he keeps my family young with his energetic personality.    
    My mom... oh where do I start?! She is my guardian angel, my comforter, and my best friend. She always has time to listen to me tell her every aspect of my life, from my worst days to my best. I always seek for her advice because she is one smart lady. She is extremely caring and compassionate, but nobody messes with her babies. The term "mama bear" describes her pretty well. She gets the title of the most important person of my life.
    And now last but not least, my dad. There is nothing in this world that can beat knowing that your dad loves you more than life it self. I have always felt adored and unconditionally love by my dad. He is very humble and I have learned valuable life lessons from his example.
     And then there's me, which you'll learn more about as I drive into blogging and all it hold! On that note I welcome you to my awesome blog!